Category Archives: Conciseness

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (十)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
iii.  描述興趣形成過程
範例

Given my interest in this profession, I have collaborated with several construction firms in developing software programs to incorporate the use of environmentally friendly building materials.
由於我對此份專業的興趣,我曾和數家營造公司合作發展軟體程式,以期使用不傷害環境的建材。

求職英文聽力練習(66): 描述所參預方案裡專業興趣的表現(英文自傳)


See more…

Source:  有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

有效撰寫英文職涯經歷 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It is common knowledge that convenient stores, pharmacies and supermarkets are applied to franchising corporations popularly, but extend a great deal of outlet unit not best way, on account of it will attack franchisees in existence.

Revised
As convenient stores, pharmacies and supermarkets are common examples of franchising corporations, too many franchise outlets will negatively impact the generated revenues of other franchisees belonging to the same corporation.

範例二

Original
There is a need to secure franchisees income and economize the use of corporations operating resource by the franchisor that needs to limit in specific trade area. But franchisors have not objective fashion to select the best one when there are two or upward person will join the chain store.

Revised
A franchiser must limit its number of expanded outlets to secure stable revenues for existing franchisees and economize its use of corporate operating resources. However, franchisers lack an objective means of selecting the most promising franchisee intent on joining the chain store.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

  1. It is critical that consideration is made by the systems manager on the current status of the program.
    See the answer
  2. There is little attention paid in previous literature to multi-response problems in the Taguchi Method.
    See the answer
  3. It is possible for the system to gather all unknown variables.
    See the answer

Source:   科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

Advertisements

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (九)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
iii. 描述興趣形成過程
範例

Having recently completed my master’s degree requirements from the Institute of Civil Engineering at National Taiwan University, I hope to bring my technical expertise and extensive laboratory experience to a renowned consulting firm such as yours.
我最近已在國立台灣大學土木工程研究所完成碩士學位,希望能將我的技術專業和豐富的實驗室經驗帶到像貴公司一樣知名的顧問公司。

Source: 有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德
有效撰寫英文職涯經歷 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It is apparent that the quality of life and education in Taiwan improve, consequently the people also more and more take own health concern. Therefore, it also drives development of the relevant industry of medical. If the hospital operation is very good, the home care, the drugstore or the healthy food store can derive.

Revised
Enhanced living standards and educational levels in Taiwan have fostered a strong public health consciousness, fuelling the development of the medical sector. Effective hospital operations definitely contribute to the maturation of the homecare, pharmaceutical and health food sectors.

範例二

Original
It is commonly viewed that conventional organization performance evaluate over rely on oneself and they aimed at defect improve. They will not tell somebody especially competition or cooperation industry. Therefore, competition or cooperation industry must be understood the hospitals organization performance or operation.

Revised
Generally viewed as too subjective, conventional evaluation models focus mainly on eliminating defects rather than providing information regarding competing or cooperative sectors, knowledge of which is vital to enhancing organizational performance or operations.

範例(三)

Original
It goes without saying that chain store is an important business model and has two types in substance, one is regular store and the other one is franchising. Regular store is more concerted in operations from franchiser, but invest too much finance and manpower, it will be obstruct to develop.

Revised
As an important business model, chain stores take the form of either a regular store or a franchise. A regular store focuses on operations from the perspective of a franchiser by investing much capital and personnel to ensure further development.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:
1. There is a necessity for an agreement on the delivery terms by both parties.
See the answer

2. It is necessary that negotiations on the final conditions be undertaken by both sides immediately.
See the answer

Source: 科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (八)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
iii. 描述興趣形成過程
範例

To cultivate my interest in this profession, I learned how to perform computer analyses in efficiently handling experiential results, such as compiling statistics to identify unforeseen circumstances in construction projects and to determine the significance of those results.
為了培養在這份專業上的興趣,我學習如何執行電腦分析和有效處理從經驗得出的結果。例如 : 彙整統計資料以求辨識出營造專案中預料之外的情況,並對所得的結果確定其重要性。

求職英文聽力練習(65): 描述所參預方案裡專業興趣的表現(英文自傳)

See more…

Source: 有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

有效撰寫英文職涯經歷 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It is widely known that the Hsinchu City Government is heavily promoting the use of public transportation to alleviate the growing heavy traffic. However, the obsolete routes and services of the public transportation, city bus, can not meet the citizens’ needs that shifted as the science park developed in recent years.

Revised
The Hsinchu City Government aggressively advocates public transportation use to alleviate the growing traffic congestion. However, obsolete bus routes and public transportation have failed to satisfy consumer demand, especially given the rapid development of the Hsinchu Science-based Industrial Park in recent years.

範例二

Original
It is a normal practice that private sectors of traditional industry file visitor information as valuable database for relationship maintenance. However, the paper-based fail to present systematic and updated data, causing inefficiency in contacting with these potential customers.

Revised
Private enterprises often enter visitor information into their databases as a form of customer relations management. However, paper-based documentation is often unsystematic and inefficient when identifying and contacting potential customers.

範例(三)

Original
It is certain key information of the data, such as e-mail address or telephone number, becomes invalid due to the difficulty to renew the database.

Revised
The failure to upgrade database contents invalidates outdated information, including e-mail addresses and telephone numbers.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

1. It is important that cooperation with each other be the focus of the study group.
See the answer

2. It could happen that a decision to cancel the exhibition is reached by the committee.
See the answer

Source: 科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (七)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
iii. 描述興趣形成過程
範例

The more time spent in studying construction management-related procedures and pertinent industrial-related research has enabled me to more fully grasp the application of civil engineering concepts in this field.
花在研究營造管理相關程序和適當工業相關研究的時間,讓我更能充分掌握土木工程觀念對此領域的應用。

求職英文聽力練習(64): 興趣相關產業描寫(英文自傳)

See more…

Source: 有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

有效撰寫英文職涯經歷 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It is crucial to develop a hi-speed wireless network system. With high data rate of wireless network, the goal of watching real-time video programs can even be reached and we can watch TV programs everywhere and anytime without taking cables with us.

Revised
Developing a hi-speed wireless network system with a high data rate could greatly facilitate real-time video transmissions and programming without conventional constraints of place, time or cables.

範例二

Original
It is known that traditional distribution system can only support the message transfer in the mobile network. If we don’t develop a new distribution system for mobile network, we can not communicate with each other.

Revised
Conventional distribution systems can only transfer messages in a mobile network. The inability to develop a distribution system for mobile networks severely limits communications between wireless users.

範例(三)

Original
There is a need for a context-aware algorithm, which can make message transfer between nodes efficiently.

Revised
A context-aware algorithm must be developed, capable of transferring messages between nodes efficiently.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

1. It is possible that the price of a laser printer is higher than that of an ink jet printer.
See the answer

2. There is a need for limitation of the number of users by the systems manager.
See the answer

Source: 科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (六)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
ii.  描述興趣與產業及社會的相關性
範例

With Taiwan’s recent entry in the World Trade Organization, the recent deregulation of Taiwan’s market will provide a diverse array of financial services, thus necessitating that domestic companies possess a high level of financial expertise in global markets.
因應台灣最近加入世界貿易組織,台灣市場的管制規定最近撤銷後將提供多樣的金融服務,國內公司因而在全球市場必須具有高度的金融專門知識。

求職英文聽力練習(63): 興趣相關產業描寫(英文自傳)

Source:  有效撰寫求職英文自傳   柯泰德
      

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It is well known that the present computer stores data in the storage device (e.g., Hard disk), without encrypted, in other words, everyone has copies of the data can easily read and modify it, although there has many software programs that can perform the data encryption, but the encryption key is also stored on storage device, so this type of protection only complicates the process of retrieving data, not truly protects the data in essence.

Revised
Computers store data in unencrypted data devices, e.g., hard disks, making it easy to read and modify such data. Despite the availability of numerous software data encryption programs, the encryption key is also stored on a storage device, further complicating the data retrieval process and leaving the data not entirely protected.

範例二

Original
It is shown statistically, in the past five years, the malicious programs and tampering of confidential data create a cost of over 75 billion US dollars every year.

Revised
Statistics over the past five years indicate that malicious programs and the tampering of confidential data cost enterprises over $US 75,000,000,000 annually.

範例(三)

Original
It is noted that the requirement of wireless network is increasing quickly. By wireless communication, information must be transferred more conveniently and comfortably.

Revised
Wireless networks must transform information efficiently and conveniently to comply with consumer demand in wireless communications.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

  1. There is no significant difference between the proposed procedure and Taguchi’s approach in terms of effectiveness.
    See the answer 
  2. It is impossible to predict all of the unforeseeable circumstances.
    See the answer 

Source:   科技英文編修訓練手冊   柯泰德   

                   英文編修/作業範例

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (五)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
ii. 描述興趣與產業及社會的相關性

範例

I remain ever optimistic that civil engineering-related technologies can lead to the establishment of senior residential communities that will help care for Taiwan’s rapidly aging population.
土木工程的相關技術,可帶動老年人住宅區的建立,將對照顧台灣快速成長的高齡人口有所助益,對此,我持相當樂觀的態度。

求職英文聽力練習(62): 興趣相關產業描寫(英文自傳)

Source: 有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It goes without saying that the security issue of electronic data and copyright are getting increasingly attention, however the computer nowadays is not reliable in data protection. Malicious programs such as virus can easily danger the confidential data stored in computers.

Revised
Despite increasing security concerns over electronic data and copyright protection, malicious programs such as viruses can easily compromise confidential data storied in computers.

範例二

Original
It was a trend that mobile phones became more popular from the end of 2002, and the mobile phone number/population percentage was over 100%. It was then that Taiwan became the top one country in the world. At the third season quarter of 2003, it even reached 113%, which mean that there were with 25275000 subscribers at that time and every 100 people have 113 mobile phone numbers in the average.

Revised
Mobile phones have pervaded daily life since the end of 2002, as evidenced by the number of subscribers in Taiwan surpassing the entire population. That percentage increased to 113% by the third quarter of 2003, with 25,275,000 subscribers island wide, or an average of 113 mobile phone numbers per 100 individuals.

範例(三)

Original
It was found from the results of a survey study recently that 6 millions subscribers don’t satisfy their current telecom operators and 4 millions subscribers want to change the operators. Because of the inconvenience and complex of the changing original used number, many subscribers cannot but succumb to the original operator.

Revised
A recent survey indicated that two-thirds of 6,000,000 subscribers dissatisfied with their current service providers want to switch operators. However, many of those individuals find it impossible to do so given the inconvenience of changing the original mobile phone number.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

1. It is important that the conflict is reduced to make a determination of the optimal setting of the design parameters.
See the answer

2. There is another method that employs the regression technique.
See the answer

Source: 科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (四)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
ii. 描述興趣與產業及社會的相關性
範例

Taiwan currently lacks technology professionals who are proficient in the use of such advanced instrumentation, of which, I am quite proficient in using.
台灣目前缺少精通使用此類先進儀器的技術專業人員,而我,對此卻相當熟稔。

求職英文聽力練習(61): 表達工作相關興趣(英文自傳)

Source: 有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It is noted that if several tree graphs have the same number of tree nodes, then the tree graph with star shape would have the highest eigenvalue among all of tree graphs. This is because of the compactness of the star.

Revised
Several tree graphs with the same number of tree nodes imply that the tree graph with a star shape has the highest eigenvalue among all tree graphs, as attributed to the compactness of the star.

範例二

Original
It is seen that computer misconfiguration can be significantly decreased with a good security configuration guide. Also, unpatched system can also be improved by setting computer patched automatically.

Revised
A reliable security configuration guide can significantly decrease the likelihood of computer misconfiguration. Also, automatically setting the computer patch can enhance the unpatched system.

範例(三)

Original
It is found that collected intrusion trace data which can reveal security weakness point in the software, it provides security professionals or researchers to study further the origin of vulnerabilities in the software and improves software quality and develops new a patch and then releases to the public.

Revised
Accumulating intrusion trace data can reveal security limitations in software, providing secuirty profrssionals or researchers with the tools to elucidate further the origin of vulnerabilities in software, enhance software quality and develop a new patch for public release.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:
1. There is little research in previous literature about the inefficiency of Taguchi’s two-step procedure.
See the answer

2. There is more and more evidence that suggests that there is a close relation between nutrition and work performance.
See the answer

Source: 科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (三)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
ii.  描述興趣與產業及社會的相關性
範例

While pursuing this interest, I slowly began to realize how civil engineering encompasses many disciplines, such as architecture, construction management and materials science to name a few.
埋首此項興趣的同時,我也慢慢開始了解到土木工程包含了許多學科,例如 : 建築學、營造管理和材料科學等。

求職英文聽力練習(60): 表達工作相關興趣(英文自傳)

Source:  有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

範例一

Original
It was the recommendation of that study that the four measures: setting fuel efficiency standard for new vehicles, promoting hybrid vehicles, requirement of low emission vehicle for fleet, and settle vehicle use limitation in rush hours, should be initiated in Taiwan’s near future.

Revised
That study recommended four timely measures for Taiwan, i.e. establishing a fuel efficiency standard for new vehicles, promoting hybrid vehicles, mandating low emission vehicles for fleets, and limiting vehicular use during rush hour traffic.

範例二

Original
It is found that the percentage of metro users have increased drastically given the last quarter of average number of metro passengers are more than the annual average number of metro users of 2009 by nearly 200 people, corresponding to Zhao (2009)’s founding that there is a trend of urban transport demand shifting from taxies and buses to rail transits. Therefore, the policy scenarios are designed according to the trend of ascending number in the volume of metro users, given that the overall public transport ridership remains the same.

Revised
The number of metro passengers has significantly increased in percentage, as evidenced by their average number reaching nearly 200 during 2009 over the same period of the previous year. This finding corresponds to the observation of Zhao (2009) of a trend of shifting demand in urban transportation from taxis and buses to rail transit. Subsequent transportation policies thus reflect the growing volume trend of metro passengers, given that the overall number of public transportation passengers remains the same.

範例(三)

Original
It was summarized that, for LDVs, fossil or nuclear feedstock, the percentage changes in CO2-equivalent emissions lie between -27.6% and 102.1%; for LDVs, biomass feedstock, the percentage changes in CO2-equivalent emissions lie between -65.0% and 10.9%; for Battery EVs, the percentage changes in CO2-equivalent emissions lie between -99.0% and -22.7%.

Revised
According to their results, for LDVs, fossil or nuclear feedstock, CO2-equivalent emissions range from a change of -27.6% to 102.1%; for LDVs, biomass feedstock, CO2-equivalent emissions range from a change of -65.0% to 10.9%; and for battery EVs, CO2-equivalent emissions range from a change of -99.0% to -22.7%.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

  1. It is necessary that a planning committee be organized.
    See the answer
  2. There are limitations on available options by the surrounding environment.
    See the answer

Source:   科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (二)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
ii. 描述興趣與產業及社會的相關性
範例

Although the general public is alarmed over potential radiation harm, carefully controlled amounts of radiation can benefit humans, such as in medical treatment or for industrial use such as construction of residential complexes.
雖然一般大眾對潛在的輻射傷害感到驚慌不安,但是若仔細管制輻射量,則可加惠人類,例如 : 醫療或住宅營造工業用。

求職英文聽力練習(59): 表達工作相關興趣(英文自傳)

Source: 有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

Instead of Say
It is possible that                              may, might, could,can
There is a need for                                      must, should
It is important that                                    must, should
It could happen that                            may, might, could
There is a necessity for                                      must
It is necessary/critical that                             must
It is noted that                                                    Notably,
It is interesting to note that                      Interestingly,
It is obvious/clear that                        Obviously, / Clearly,

範例一

Original
It is noticed that few efforts have been made for the assessment of COS emmision focusing on the specific trips of different transport modes in the megacities of China.

Revised
Notably, CO2 emissions have seldom been assessed with respect to specific patterns of various transportation modes in Chinese megacities.

範例二


Original
It is the aim to address the energy consumed by transport sector and the CO2 emissions generated by Shanghai, which is the most commercialized city equipped with the highest cutting edge passenger transport technological infrastructure.

Revised
Of priority concern is to address the energy consumed by the transportation sector and subsequent CO2 emissions generated in Shanghai, the largest commercial center in China  that is equipped with the most advanced infrastructure for passenger transportation.

範例(三)

Original
It is possible to create many designs with the software.

Revised
Many designs can be created with the software.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

1. There is a slight difference in terms of speed between the two methods.
See the answer

2. There are many factors that affect product strategy.
See the answer

Source: 科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句 (一)

表達工作相關興趣 (英文自傳)
ii.  描述興趣與產業及社會的相關性
範例:

While cancer ranks as one of the leading causes of mortality in Taiwan, advanced technologies are constantly adopted to monitor the radiation emitted from building construction materials.
當癌症名列台灣主要死亡原因之一時,先進技術則時常用於監控大樓建材所散發的輻射。

Source:  有效撰寫求職英文自傳 柯泰德

避免過度使用It 及 There開頭句
使用It 及 There 開頭的句子容易使文章語多累贅及曖昧不清。除非It 指的是先前句子所提特定的名詞,否則完全的避免 It is 的句型。數個由It is 開頭的句型應去除掉,因為他們對句意並沒幫助。如果不能完全省略去除掉這種句型,則應更為精簡的描述全句。

Several common phrases beginning with “It is” can be omitted since they do not add to the sentence’s meaning. Such examples include

It is well known that
It may be said that
It is a fact that
It is evident that
It has been found that
It has long been known that
It goes without saying that

範例一

Original
There appears to be a fluctuation in the curve.

Revised
The curve appears to fluctuate.

範例二

Original
It was her decision that led to his promotion.

Revised
She decided to promote him.

範例(三)

Original
There is a significant difference in terms of efficiency between the proposed scheme and conventional methods.

Revised
The proposed scheme and conventional methods significantly differ in efficiency.

請把練習題列印出來再以紅筆用標準編修註記修改:

  1. There has been a considerable amount of studies on robust design.
    See the answer
  2. There is a significant difference in control levels for the parameter settings.
    See the answer
  3. It seems that the optimalfactor/level combination is dominated by the maximum quality loss.
    See the answer

Source:   科技英文編修訓練手冊 柯泰德

英文編修/作業範例

Share